My Daily Battle With Technology...

So, like you, I wake up to the annoying sound of beeping which attacks my sleep from my alarm clock. Every day I do the same thing, like a ritual: I look at my phone and see the friendly snooze alarm option and like a fool I give into its glory...I know it's wrong but I do it anyway. 5 minutes later the alarm goes off again and again I press the snooze. Then depending on the day It will be a repeat procedure for at least 25 minutes. I'm usually late to where ever it is I need to go. ..and it's all the snooze alarms fault, dammit!

Why give us an option? Why give it to us! It's like when God put the apple tree in the garden of Eden. What's Adam going to do? Of course he's going to taste the forbidden fruit (I bet it was the balls) and I think God knew this. Just like the alarm clock people know we're going to press that button. Those 5 forbidden snooze sleeping minutes are the best. Every time you press the button you lose something from your morning routine..."I didn't want breakfast anyway"..."There goes the shower" and so on till there's just about time to throw on the clothes that are closest to you and then rush off to work.

And I know even after writing this I'm still going to do it tomorrow.

The second piece of technology that has it in for me is vending machines. They are so smug! Especially the ones at Uni. I hate those Mofo's!

Just yesterday, I had an encounter. I was already annoyed at paying the high price for a bottle of coke that I could have got cheaper if I took a 2 minute walk to the shop. But I went for the convenience...The bottle got jammed at the bottom and I spent 5 minutes kicking it. Eventually after the clever use of the library newspaper and help from my friend Ben, I got the bottle. I wasn't going to be outsmarted by a vending machine. Not that day, anyway.

I've also been mugged by one. I had a Crunchie craving one day, like you do, and headed for the machine. I Put my money in, in my excitement pressed the wrong button and got an inferior chocolate bar...not naming names. So, I put my last 50p hoping to get the Crunchie and it straight up jacked me! No subtlety about it! It was laughing at me and there was nothing I could do about it! Nothing. Who can you talk to? What can you do? I felt like a victim.

I was so annoyed I was ranting to my friend Zelly about it later.

"I hate vending machines, they are probably the worst things in the world"

she said " What about rapists? You think a vending machine is worse then a rapist?"

She had a good point. I thought about it and "well a rapist has never stolen my last 50p when I really wanted a Crunchie!"

...Maybe in hindsight it was a little over the top.

Seriously though something has got to be done about these rogues! They can't keep getting away with this. I for one am not going to put up with it anymore! Who's with me?

Griffithism's Volume 2

I admit, not a great start to my blogging new year...however, I did have a fashion faux par with a dog, so that's great...more on that in another blog.

Hope everyone had a great Christmas and New year. Seems like so long ago already now, doesn't it. It's all about the family time and it's where some old stories get retold. My favourite being this one, involving Papa G and my older sister Gemma.

So, Papa G was about to have a shower but didn't have a towel. He thought he was alone for some reason so he waltzed through to the hallway, in all his glory, in search of a towel. He opened the airing cupboard to find one. He heard light footsteps on the stairs. In panic, he jumped into the airing cupboard and closed the door behind him.

It turns out Gemma, who was about 14 at the time, was also in search of a towel and headed straight for the airing cupboard. But upon opening the door, instead of the inviting warmed towels that are usually in there. there was her dad. Naked, covering his modesty. He said the first thing that came to mind "Uh, It doesn't seem that I have any clothes on at the moment, Gemma". She simply replied "OK" and shut the door, leaving him to it. I would love to have known what was going through her mind at this time. Did she think that Papa G was some kind of airing cupboard pervert weirdo? Or did she think it was just a Dad thing? That's what Dad's do. Classic Papa G is what I'm thinking.

Okay so you remember my sister Julia? The girl who joined a gym and 8 months later still didn't know how to find it? Well, she came up with another classic. Being New year and all she decided to try out a new diet and was telling her friend Rachel all about it.

Julia: "I started a new diet today, it's going really well".

Rachel: "That's great. what diet is it?"

Julia: "It's an alternative day diet. You have Up days - where you can eat anything you want and Down days where you eat hardly anything."

Rachel: "what have you done for your diet today?"

Julia: "oh, nothing. Today is an up day so I can eat what I want!"

...So really she hadn't started a diet. Not only that, to make sure she wouldn't forget, in her diary she had written up, down, up, down on everyday of the first few weeks. Gotta love her.

Anyways, that is it for Griffithisms. More stories on the way soon, plus hopefully a photo of my Fashion faux par with a dog...Has this happened to anyone else?